Right Now

Visiting with my godmother, Katherine, for the first time in years

Originally posted on 12/23/11

Right now, I am…

  • translating some jobs for the first time in several months, since I had decided I really needed to focus on homeschooling more
  • humming A Spotless Rose, the beautiful song we’re singing in choir on Christmas Eve
  • appreciating how sweet my little girl is, with all her inventions, crafts, sales, smart comments and spot-on observations, her love of nature and God, her desire to know about the past, her gung-ho enthusiasm about being “an active girl”
  • fretting over Chistmas; will it be magical enough? will we feel lonely? will I get my Christmas shopping done? will we ever do any crafts at all?
  • loving that I heard from both my uncles today and got to have nice talks with them, especially that one of them has really taken Mustard Seed under his wing
  • scheming about how to be a good writer–in particular how to capture the “important minutia” of our family’s daily life. I’ve been realizing I have a very general memory, not specific and episodic. I remember things like “we always used to go to that place during those days” or “we had a long talk and she said a lot of sweet things”, but I never remember what was said word-for-word, even when things are very important and meaningful. Sad. I’m not even too good at remembering the small conversations or cute things Mustard Seed says during a given day. This makes me more determined to try to stay on it on a daily basis. It will probably make me appreciate little blessings more.
  • dreaming of how to become a food (or other) photographer
  • grateful for a friend who saw me eating a cookie, after I told her last week that I gave up sugar, and had the good sense to call me out on it (what was I thinking?)
  • filled up from a long day yesterday of talking with friends while our girls played after the 2nd annual Graham Cracker Gingerbread House Extravaganza
  • also reflecting on how fortunate I am to have grown up with good role models who taught me how to be a functional adult, capable of loving and caring for my child and how lucky I am to be able to do things with her like put up a Christmas tree, stick a star in the window, and set out a nativity set, however underachieving that may seem compared to some people, and to do the every day stuff with her, like comb her hair, read a story, eat lunch together, kiss her boo-boos, etc.
  • praying for those people whose Christmases are filled with darkness or loneliness for whatever reason
  • glad to have gotten to have my godmother over for breakfast and seen her for the first time in 15 years
  • cookie notwithstanding, generally adhering to the no-sugar thing but needing to get more veggies and protein in and avoid the urge to eat too many fruits to compensate for my treat cravings
  • happy to have seen my aunt and my two small cousins for early Christmas dinner last night. The baby is starting to talk, which is amazing, no matter how many times you see it happen, and the older one is full of hugs and smiles.
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